Sunday, November 2, 2014

Things I am Learning.

I am still breathing. These days are full of nursing school, juggling photo sessions and being a chemo ninja for my patients. But, more so, they are full of ear to ear smiles, lots of love, even more joy AND being really really worn out. It's been an adventure to force myself to sit and spend time with my Father, myself and others. I haven't been the best at it- letting fear, anger and impatient Kins get in the way of truly loving people. I'm rapidly learning lots and while it is draining, it is incredibly worthy of praise. These days are lovely.
  • Don't wish for the weekend.  I was with some friends last night and this topic was brought up. I'm a firm believer in noticing the good of everyday (and sometimes the bad that you want to turn into good), not just days where I'm free and don't have a plan or schedule. Even in my jam packed, stressed out days- there is blessing.
  •  Never be too busy with yourself that it causes you to be blind to those around you. Self explanatory.
  • Don't go to the grocery story hungry. I've been told this by many since I moved out on my own... but it's so gosh darn true. I will show up at the counter with two empty string cheeses and a cart full of things I don't need, usually more cheese and ice cream.  I spent over my budget and end up throwing half of the food out because I can't munch on it before it expires.
  • Everyone shows love differently. Just because they don't show it the same way you give it does not mean they don't equally/if not more love you. My sweet friend Savannah and I have this discussion what seems like weekly. I'm big on words. They get me. I get them. They leave me sappy. They leave me in tears. They know exactly what to do to wrapped me around their finger forever. Words are my love language. I would rather have a page full of wholesome, genuine sentences than a cute puppy. Any day. Some show love well by actions, some surprises and some make a really mean apple pie for people they love. They are all unique to the person they're being shared with and they all are equally meaningful. 
  • Communication. I used to think I had this down. I used to think because I could walk into a patients room and blab on, make them smile and laugh meant that I was the communication QUEEN! Then I realized how great I am at talking to strangers. Those who don't know my heart. But, when it comes to those I love dearly... I get frustrated, annoyed and angry when they can't read my mind and I shut down, quickly. What unfair expectations to hold over those who mean the most. Chris and I do not see each other but usually two weekends a month. This season of distance is a needed blessing for us, as we are learning and growing together and apart. It's healthy, challenging and really really rewarding when that big hug and 48 hours together happens after a few weeks. We're learning how to communicate without many face to face conversations which is cool, I think it's making us pretty strong. But, I went into the relationship thinking we could do all the things that non-distance relationships do and thats impossible! It is made up for though. Sometimes we have to be more creative (especially when your love languages are quality time and physical touch), push aside other important things to talk and hold tough conversations over the phone. Chris always leaves me with a mushy smile, is far too patient and kind to me when I probably least deserve it. The Lord has been faithful to challenge me to growth in this season and He is far too good to us. We're lucky to have Him on our team.
Those are just a few.

Some favorites lately are Ben Howard's new album: I Forget Where We Were, taking baths, Lauren Daigle's music, Cyprus smelling candles, sweet time at the beach with my mama, corduroys, drinking lots and lots of water, geekin' out when my patients get to go home, A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken and clean sheets.